The Most Important News You've Never Read

Rangers 6, Twins 5 (10 innings)

Sidney flippin' Ponson is pitching. Obviously, I will be giving (almost) my full attention to the TV.

I'm calling that somebody's going to get hit by a pitch tonight. Of course, Mr. Pontoon will be the one who threw it. Maybe. Unless he's become totally poised and elegant now. (Too bad you can't hear me laughing at the moment.)

Times Like These

Twins 3, Angels 2
Angels 9, Twins 1

It seems I haven't written up a post in about 104809218312 years. Since November, anyways. When Jason got traded. I still haven't forgiven Bill Smith yet, but it's slowly dawning on me that Adam Everett is now our shortstop. I don't like him solely because he took Jason's spot, but I should try to forget about this and give you my thoughts on the new 2008 season.

Monday's game was fun to watch. I found that I missed baseball much more than I had anticipated Monday morning, but by 5:30 I was itching to see the grass of the Metrodome and the players running on the field.. it hurt to see that most of the Twins players were still relatively unfamiliar faces. I mean, I know all of them, but they are not the '07 Twins. It's about as simple as that. And I know that the '07 Twins got us nowhere, but still, I miss them. Anybody who really cares about the players and not just the "uniform" should, too.

Anyways! Tuesday was definitely harsh by all standards. Boof! struggled, but it was our bullpen that really gave it away. That paired with the story of all Twins fans' lives - lack of run support made the perfect losing situation for us. Add a couple of errors in there and Angels fans are wondering why they couldn't do this on Opening Day instead.

My thoughts on Torii's being hit by Juan Rincon last night: unintentional. If it was intentional, you'd notice. Juan acted genuinely surprised when he hit him, but it seems Torii has other ideas:

..... Juan Rincon came in to pitch the ninth and he got off to a real rocky start, hitting former Twins center fielder Torii Hunter in the left elbow with the first pitch that he threw.

Rincon claimed afterward that the pitch was not intentional, although Hunter wasn't so sure.

"Maybe, maybe not," Hunter said when asked if he thought Rincon was throwing at him. "I kind of have mixed feelings. When he came [to the Twins], we clicked pretty good. Maybe they had a bet on who would hit Torii first."

Uh.. no. As great as I bet Torii is, I tried super hard to dislike him and find him overrated last year/this offseason, but when he came up to bat on Monday I teared up and realized how much I missed him. But, again, he goes off and all he has to do is talk to piss me off. Just like when he was traded, he said something about how it was "the thing he had to do" and "it didn't have anything to do with money". That's bull, basically, because everybody knows 5yrs/$90-freaking-million > 5yrs/$47 million. I thought Torii really wanted to stay here in Minnesota? Whilst he said it was his "home" on Monday night, he could have stayed here at "home" with a very large paycheck still, but he decided to be greedy. But you know what? I guess you have to do what you have to do, even if he means moving out to LA to get $90 million and going 0 for 4 on Opening Day versus your old team. I'm all for that. Otherwise, I'm over it, because Carlos Gomez has amazing potential and I'm thinking he'll be a stud this year. Hopefully. If he can repeat what he did on Monday (2 for 3 with a double, a walk, 2 runs scored and 2 stolen bases) for a decent sum of the games this year, we should see a very nice player from New York roaming our fields instead of Hunter.

In other news, as all Twins fans who are women (along with the occasional man) are almost required to have, my newest 'boyfriend' would be Kevin Slowey. With Jason's departure, he is definitely still in my heart (I regularly check Tampa's website and look at the pictures on ESPN) but I need somebody who close to home. Who better to pick than Kevin? He's insanely adorable, with the grayish-green eyes and a slight motormouth, and he's definitely going to impress this year. He might need to get warmed up, but once we're in the season, he's going to take control. You just watch.

Also: I'll be updating more, most likely. I'm going to fix this place up a bit and clean out the cobwebs (<-- lame joke) but all-in-all, I should be a regular blogger this year. Huzzah! I'm a comment whore, I just figured I should remind everyone, so comment away.

I am off to watch as much Qwest Twins Live as I can, mainly because I have confirmation tonight at 7, so I'll be missing a large chunk of the game. At least I have absolutely nothing going on tomorrow night..

goodbye #18

I'm crying. Jason Bartlett just got traded to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

No more January Caravan. No more #18. No more gorgeous, error-prone shortstop that I can't live without. I fucking hate baseball. I hate the Twins. I hate life. I hate everything, I can't stand this.

I just fell in love with the Twins and now they broke my heart. Torii, Jason, Johan, Matt. You'll all be missed.

I'm bawling, actually.

I hate this.

10/30 - Hot Date With a (Free!) Taco

Mark it on the calendar, folks. As I was writing this post, mainly about how much I would enjoy obtaining a free taco, Jacoby Ellsbury decided to try to steal a base. And the Rockies decided they wouldn't risk an error with a runner at 3rd and the score tied, so, there was no throw. And with that, Mr. Ellsbury decided to feed all of America.

So, basically, if you want a free, approximately 77¢ taco, go to Taco Bell on October 30th (Jason Bartlett's birthday!!!) and you will be fed. Make sure you alert all those hobos who live on the street corners, too, because I'm almost sure they haven't tasted the deliciousness of a beefy hard-shelled taco for a couple of years. They've been too busy eating old chicken and Big Macs out of garbage cans to realize that they actually have food waiting for them that's freshly made.

I would go into the loss the Rockies 'suffered' (is it even possible to suffer after losing like that? That was an ass whooping. 13-1? Just because Josh Beckett looks like a child molester doesn't mean you can't hit something off of him.) but I would prefer not to. It was ugly, that's all I'm going to say.

I love how the announcers on Fox are extremely good at stating the obvious. You make fun of somebody for pointing at a poster and saying "Hey, look, a poster." I guarantee you'd laugh if you watched the World Series. They talk about so many stupid things I could make a drinking game out of them.

"He can strike like a cobra in a basket."

My point? Should be taken. That was stupid and totally obvious, because when I look at Manny Ramirez, I think of a cobra in a basket ready to strike, not a revolting double-chinned monster who probably hasn't gazed at the wonders of shampoo in about three years.

As much as I hate to say it, I'm almost positive the Rockies stand no chance against the Red Sox and all the drunken fans at Fenway Park. I mean seriously, the Rockies are similar to the Twins, considering they've average like 4.3 runs per game in the Postseason so far. And what are the Red Sox up to, 20.4? Don't ask, I'm pulling this out of my ass.

It would be so much more fun if the Indians had advanced. Or the Yankees, even. Then I would actually care about this. Oh well, I'm on a conquest for a free taco, so, my complaining is limited.

Okay, nevermind. You need to go to Taco Bell on October 30th from 2-5 p.m. So leave work and get a taco. Dedicate it to me, because I will be in school, about an hour away from the nearest Taco Bell. AND it has to be participating in the event, so, if it's independently owned, you might not get that beloved burrito.

Oh well, Jacoby Ellsbury. It's the thought that counts.

There's Only One October, And Frankly I Don't Care

The 2007 Postseason is in full swing and, as per usual, I am a grouch. I have good reason because, you see, I originally wanted either the Diamondbacks or the Yankees to win. But then.. the Yankees decided to lose. So, my supposed loyalty went to the Diamondbacks. And then they were swept and I was left with the Indians. And, God forbid, they lost too. So I had a choice: The Red Sox, or the Rockies?

Now I'm going to come out and say it: I like the Yankees. Okay, okay, yes, I know, I'm preparing to be shot. It didn't start out that way, though. Halfway through the regular season, I figured out I did not actually hate the Yankees (after all those entries, calling them the 'Wankees', the 'Bankees' and all those nice little names that your grandma would approve of) but instead I hated the Red Sox. So instead of being a Josh Beckett fan, I was a Derek Jeter fan.

Obviously, I'm rooting for the Rockies. The only thing is, the only person I know from the Rockies would be Matt Holliday, and that's really not saying too much. Oh well. I'm not too into all of this World Series crap, considering
1.) I have oodles of homework,
2.) I don't like the Red Sox/feel rather indifferent about the Rockies, and
3.) I'll be gone for half the games so I would prefer to not get too attached.

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Don't expect this to be updated, because it's not going to be. Thank you.

Top 1st
K #1.
.. K #2.
...... K #3.
Well.. that was quick.


Bottom 1st
I'm hoping for a strik-
1 - 0 in favor of Boston. Alright, lead-off home run. Only three outs to go.
Okay, a double. Let's work with this. Not too bad..
Pulled to the right side by Ortitz. Advancing the runner to third, one out. Two to go, please, keep the score 1 - 0.
Base hit. For Christ sakes, it's 2 - 0 with one out in the bottom of the 1st.
Fly out. Okay.
Single.
Erm, double. 3 - 0.
Ground out.

I'm leaving now. This is embarrassing.

P.S. What the f-ing hell is with all of these extra base hits? There have been like 3 doubles hit today and it's the 2nd inning. Oh, wait, this is normal? You see, I would not know, because I am a Twins fan, and I only know of the single and home run, as hit by Justin Morneau.

Oh, and speaking of Justin, I had an interesting conversation in Geometry this morning. I don't remember the whole thing but after I mentioned Jason Bartlett, she was like, "Yeah, what's his name, Jason Morneau?? Isn't he like the best left fielder in the league?" It really killed me, actually. And I heard a rumor Justin's engaged now? With Krista whatsername, on a trip to Hawaii. Romantic. Although, I'm sure this Krista girl is nice and all, I just do not like to think of Justin as being engaged. Or married, that scares me even more. Eeee.

This offseason is killing me.